:D

I wish I had somebody here who already knows everything I'm about to write. Its so frustrating not to have anyone who knows me around. Not even my family, which is terrible. I wish so badly that I had a closer family. People who know how and why I am the way I am. People who I can confide in without having to tell a back story. I stand outside other's family moments all the time. Thanksgiving with a friend's family. Christmas at a boyfriend's. I'm always welcome but I'll never be family..and that's understandable. I feel like a stray kitten sometimes....people do their best to take care of me but don't know where to start because they don't know what I need.

but thats depressing so anyway -----

Ten Best things about today/ no makeup November...

1.) As heartbreaking as it is...Layla has found a new home. She's sleeping inside tonight and thats what I want most for her.

2.) When its no makeup november and someone tell you your pretty...you know they mean YOU....not your long eyelashes or your bronzed cheeks....its you, the way you wake up next to someone...the way that you SHOULD feel best.

3.) No makeup November is also No shave November...which for some reason is a phenomenon around here...but I'm not gonna complain because there's like four guys in each of my classes that now have beards and look like burly lumberjacks...and I have a thing for lumberjacks. Can't help it. I'm a freak, I know.

4.) I think I've lost a little weight!!! ....of course wearing a sports bra and pajama pants half the day helps you to feel that way, but I'll TAKE IT!

5.) Weekend plans are in the making for a little campfire/camp out. WHICH...I will be on that farm...with a fire...and a shit-load of blankets even if I go by my freaking self. (but then ill probably end up too creep-ed out and stay at my uncles across the road. because I no longer have a freaking dog.)

6.) I bought the most amazing candle...called woodwick candles...it has a wick, of wood. but it sounds like a crackling fire which makes me nightly routine about eighty times more amazing.

7.) My friend Jesseka is considering moving out here. She's my bff from EAC. She is the quirkiest "take me as I am" girl that I know and I couldnt love her more for her in your face uniqueness.

8.)....eff this list. it's 1:45....

nigh-chyall.